Christmas 2020 now seems like a distant memory. However, 2016 is one I will never forget. Noise welcomed me on the 20th of December as I arrived at the ‘Centre of Excellence’ where I planned to spend Christmas.
The three standing sculptures, the beautiful flowers and gardens were enough notification that “This is Lagos”. Nevertheless, it is not yet time to rejoice.
Although it took me five hours to get to Lagos from Delta, I knew that my journey just began. What is Lagos without traffic?
Unsurprisingly, I spent another three hours on the road before I got to Volks. Previously, I would spell this place as ‘Vogts’ until the Super Eagles lost out in the 2008 African Nations Cup under the watch of Berti Vogts. It necessitated me to search for the right spelling of this place.
The humour of Lagos drivers
Lagos is a haven for traffic. Public buses, motorcycles, and private cars usually jostle for right of way.
I took a bike to my destination when the transport company got to its park at Volks. A fast and furious scene was re-enacted as the bike man tried to manoeuvre through the road.
‘’Abeg calm down o, I am not in a hurry,’’ I said.
‘’Shey you wan sleep here ni? No worry I go soon commot from this traffic,’’ the bike man assured me.
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It was a battle for the survival of the fittest among the drivers. Horns blared and insults flew as commuters hurried to their various destinations. I watched as a lady jumped out of her skin as the bike I rode on almost hit her.
‘’Aboki, something dey worry you abi? Does this place look like road to you?’’ the lady hissed at the bike man.
‘’Shey na your papa get where you dey waka? Ugly girl!’’ the bike man barked at the lady.
I laughed hysterically as the bike man rode past the lady. I wondered why he referred to her as ugly. She was actually quite beautiful.
Christmas at home
December 25th is always a fun filled day at my uncle’s. There is usually enough to eat and drink. This Christmas was even more memorable because one of my aunts gave birth to twins on Christmas Eve.
We were all dancing and rejoicing and I carried one of the babies when my uncle said that he hopes that the child does not turn out like me. Really? I thought I was well behaved and law abiding. Obviously, that is not how Uncle Ochuko sees me.
“I do not want this baby to be like you because your leg no dey stay one place. You too dey waka!” Uncle Ochuko said amidst laughter, in apparent reference to my incessant nomadic nature.
We recounted the events that occurred throughout the year – the happy and sad ones. Such memories seal our bond as a family and will be forever etched in my memory. That Christmas is one I will always remember with a smile on my face.
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