Banana, Rat, Killer and other funny names in football history

When you watch a football match, little things other than the flair, tension, banter and entertainment matter to you.

You would agree with me that people fall in love with some football players just because of the names they carry on the back of their jerseys.

From difficulty in pronunciation to the length of the names or how funny they sound, we all have different reasons we love some player names.

In this piece however, NRTC has compiled the list of 10 funny names in football history. Check them out!

Yaya Banana

The Cameroonian defender has one of the most hilarious names in football and it’s easy to see why. You can just imagine the match commentator scream “Bananaaaaaaa!” Funny right?

Banana is a 31-year-old footballer who joined Tunisian side Espérance in 2009. That was when he began his professional career and he has gone on to appear for several clubs since then. He appeared for French club Sochaux before having a loan stint at Swiss side Lausanne-Sport.

The defender was in Greece for sometime and was signed by Greek giants Olympiacos. He never appeared for the team but was loaned out to Panionios.

He was last seen playing in the Indian Super League (ISL) with Bengaluru in 2022. He has also appeared 16 times for the Indomitable Lions of Cameroon.

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Răzvan Raț

Born in Piatra-Olt, Romania, the former left-back has one of the funniest footballer names we have seen.

Although his name is not English, his last name (pronounced ‘rat͡s) is often pronounced /ræt/, just as the everyday English speaker would. Funny name indeed.

The now 41-year-old made his professional bow at Rapid București and went on to make 83 appreances for the Romanian side, between 1998 and 2003.

During his playing days, he also featured for Shakhtar Donetsk, West Ham United, Rayo Vallecano, PAOK as well as ACS Poli Timișoara.

Norman Conquest

The name reminds us of the military conquest of England by the duke of Normandy known as William. The goalkeeper was born in 1916 and was an Australia international who appeared for the Socceroos 11 times between 1947 and 1950.

Conquest is notable for being the goalkeeper between the sticks when Australia faced an English FA XI team, a match in which the goalie conceded 17 goals. He also played for the New South Wales state team. This is one of the funny names you’ll come across in football history.

Wolfgang Wolf

Wolf is a former player of German origin. His name is also a funny one and fans looked forward to his matches. Wolf was a decent defender who stood at 1.84 metres. His senior career was predominantly witnessed in FC Kaiserslautern, Stuttgarter Kickers and VfR Mannheim.

He was well known during his time at both FC Kaiserslautern and Stuttgarter Kickers. Wolf made over 240 appearances for the former and played more than 130 matches for the Kickers.

Since retiring from playing active professional football, he has since gone into taking up managerial positions at different clubs.

Wolf was at a time, the athletic director of Stuttgarter Kickers, moving on to manage German teams VfL Wolfsburg, FC Nürnberg, FC Kaiserslautern and Hansa Rostock. The now 65-year-old also had a managerial stint at Greek professional football club Skoda Xanthi.

Danger Fourpence

“My name is Danger” sounds so weird and unbelievable to the ears. Probably if someone indeed approaches you and says that, the first assumption is that it’s their nickname.

However, this is the real name of this football player here. Danger is a football player who represents local team Kiglon Bird FC. The team is based in Chitugwiza, a town in the Harare province of Zimbabwe.

His unique name, being among the funny names in football, has earned him a lot of international recognition especially for a man who comes from the Southern African country with great history.

Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink

The name sounds so much like the name of the ruler of a kingdom but no! This is the name of a retired pro football striker who represented the Netherlands.

He wore the shirts of clubs like PSV, FC Twente, Rapid Vienna, Hull City and Scottish giants Celtic.

When British newspaper The Guardian made a research about the funny name, it was discovered that in the 17th century, there were two families who intermarried in Holland.

Both the Hesselink and Vennegoor names were of exact social weight. As a result of this, it was decided that rather than pick between both names, they went for the usage of both.

The preposition ‘of’ in Dutch translates to ‘or’ in the real sense. This would mean that a deep translation of the footballer’s name results in: Jan Vennegoor or Hesselink.

Danny Drinkwater

What if I prefer to drink wine and not water whenever I see the English player on the pitch?

Now 33, Drinkwater will never forget his iconic English Premier League victory with Leicester City in the 2015/2016 season. His time at the King Power Stadium will forever be remembered as the period he came into limelight.

Playing alongside N’Golo Kante in the Leicester midfield, the club ‘miraculously’ claimed the top-flight title while also parading the likes of Jamie Vardy, Robert Huth, Riyad Mahrez, Wes Morgan, Shinji Okazaki and goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel.

Drinkwater later joined Chelsea but remains one of the most insignificant players to ever represent the club. He has been sent on loan to the likes of Burnley, Aston Villa, Kasımpaşa and Reading ever since. He has also appeared for the Three Lions thrice.

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Christ Bongo

Born in Congo in 1976, the former player could neither save himself nor his teammates several times during his playing days. He was jokingly referred to as someone who should be able to deliver his team from trouble since he is ‘Christ.’

Bongo represented Hannover 96, FC Schaffhausen, Gazélec Ajaccio, FC Aarau, FC Thun and FC Solothurn. Bongo also played for the Democratic Republic of Congo at international level.

Two Boys Gumede

First time I came across this name, I almost rolled on the floor due to laughter. I frankly did not believe it was the name of a person. No doubt, this is so hilarious.

Two-Boys Gumede is a 37-year-old South African player who represents the River City Rovers. The player featured for Javanon Soccer Club, and helped them win the 2003 Kentucky state club championship.

Daniel Killer

This is about the creepiest name on this list. Who names his child Killer? Killer played as a defender and was part of the Argentine team that won the 1978 World Cup.

The ex-player was, alongside his brother Mario, among the players that helped clubside Rosario Central win the 1973 Primera Division Argentina Nacional championship. Killer had teamed up with the side three years earlier before his brother joined the team in 1972.

He also appeared for Estudiantes de Río Cuarto, Vélez Sársfield and Racing Club.

The player stunned many Rosario Central fans when he joined the club’s harshest rivals Newell’s Old Boys. He is currently the owner of an indoor football complex close to his hometown in Argentina.