Coin d’amour: Is there a right amount of time to date before getting married?

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Lately, we have been having beautiful love unions that have been putting us under a chokehold. Everyone wants to know the background of the beautiful love story. Then, the people concerned would say they met and dated for a few months then boom proposal. Is that how it is done?

Let us have an open conversation about the issue. Really, there is no stipulated date as to when you should date your partner before marrying them but I believe a person is not an open book you can figure out in two months, per se.

Our characters are just like onion bulbs that keep popping out when we cut in deep. Well, let’s see what short-term courtship is.

Short term courtship

Some people have claimed that the first time they met their partners, they knew they were going to marry them. Not to disregard their feelings, it actually happens. But this doesn’t mean that you need to dash into marriage.

Marriage is a long-term commitment to someone except you are open to divorce. Why not choose right with all boxes checked at first instead of getting it wrong and hoping to get it right again?

A period of one year is the least amount of time you should court with someone before marrying them. During this period, you are liable to have seen them act and respond in different situations. Though it is not enough to ascertain who the person is you still stand to gain a considerable amount of knowledge.

We are no longer in the period of the arranged marriage where the institution was mainly for economic importance and gain for the parents instead of the two parties involved. It is the age of liberty where you can marry who you want as long as the modalities are lawful.

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Long-term relationship

This seems like the best option but not too good an option. Prolonged courtship is not really the best but there are perks to it. You get to know your partner in detail but see finish go enter am. People misuse this and start cohabitation without actually fulfilling the marriage rites. Most cultures frown on it and the Nigerian cultures are not an exception.

A maximum of three to five years is what I recommend for long-term courtship. Before marriage, you would have had a different encounter with such a person’s behaviour. It is left to you to decide whether you want to stick to the person.

The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know is a popular saying and from what I know, it is not cap. The other option in this nest is to marry your friend, someone you have known to a level. Marrying your friend might not require you courting for a long time because you’ve known the person to some extent. We won’t forget the fact that behaviour of some people in friendship differs from when they are relaxed. It might be better or worse.

There is no pattern to this. We can only advise and hope it works out well. Marriage is a risk that you take in all ramifications. You do not know what you would face unless you venture into it. You cannot predict from afar but we always lay our trust in our partners that they would make our lives blissful. Till another edition, stay loved and love right.