Dayo Amusa: How I battled depression over infertility

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Actress Dayo Amusa has opened up about her personal struggles with depression, her battle with infertility, and the transformative journey that led her to becoming a mother.

In a lengthy series of Instagram posts, the actress shared the journey she went through while trying to conceive for years.

She revealed that she had three miscarriages and was diagnosed with uterine myxomatosis.

According to her, some doctors recommended removing her womb due to the complications and discomfort.

She added that she continued enduring the pain and was on medications, injections, and treatments to stop the growth of tumors until she had surgery on February 14, 2015, to remove the tumor through a TCRE Laparoscopy dye ovarian drilling procedure.

The actress revealed that her then-husband left her for another woman in 2016 after several unsuccessful attempts to conceive naturally.

Amusa added that she underwent IVF treatments in 2019, during which she had a strained relationship with her partner at the time.

She added that her partner’s impatience and infidelity led to their separation, leaving her to battle with depression and feelings of inadequacy.

The actress admitted that she withdrew from her family and friends, lost interest in her career, and struggled with her mental health.

The mother of one added that her story changed after she relocated to the United States in 2021, following her mother’s advice.

She said the change of environment and a newfound sense of purpose helped her heal and eventually welcome her first child, a baby boy, in 2024.

Amusa’s testimony

“My testimony! I never thought I would get to this moment but God knew. For as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to be a complete ideal woman (a wife and mom). Having had 3 miscarriages, in 2015, I was diagnosed with uterine myxomatosis, and some doctors recommended removing my womb due to the complications and discomfort I experience every month during my menstrual cycle. I decided to fight and reject that option. I was on medications, injections, and treatments to stop the growth of tumors until my uncle’s wife advised me to come to the UK for treatment.

“14th of Feb. 2015, I had the surgery to remove the tumor via TCRE Laparoscopy dye ovarian drilling procedure as I was really afraid of being open. In 2016 myself and my then-partner decided to try again as we were so eager to welcome our 1st child together but later discovered one of my tubes was broken and it would be almost impossible to get pregnant naturally. Men as men, my then partner was involved with another woman unknown to me, which produced a baby boy. After so many ups and downs, back and forth, na so the whole thing ended.

“Fast forward to Jan 2019, my supposed husband and I kept trying to no avail, and then we decided to try IVF, but all efforts had negative outcomes. My supposed husband was really impatient with me; he was over 40 years old and was insisting on having a child that year. He proposed if I could allow him to get someone else pregnant while am waiting on my miracle baby, and when I couldn’t live with that, he walked away and of course, got someone else pregnant months later and that produced him a baby girl.

“I became frustrated and very sad. I withdrew and isolated myself; I lost my purpose and lost interest in almost everything that mattered to me, even distancing myself from my family and friends. My career suffered the most as I gradually lost focus and interest in my passion. I ran into my shell battling with depression for many years.

“Even though it appeared to the world out there that everything was fine with me as I always wore a mask of a happy face But I never lost faith that sooner or later God would hear my innermost hidden prayers and fulfill my desires. What I value the most is the change that God made in my heart and mindset during my wait despite all the names calling to the level of being publicly called a BAREN.

Amusa’s testimony continues

“There’s this misconception that if someone is smiling, they’re okay. If someone is talking about it or has not spoken about it, they must be okay. But the reality is… it’s often hard to be okay when you’re faced with the challenges of waiting/ infertility. Is it the constant blame, self-doubt, name-calling, fear of the unknown, waiting, pain, comparison, sadness, anger?

“It’s all so heavy. It is a full-time job. It often wreaks havoc on once mental health, relationships, career, productivity and even finances.

“All this time, my mum (my world) would suggest I relocate to the United States or the United Kingdom. She would advise me to have a change of environment and breathe new soil as it was obvious I wasn’t living the life anymore; instead, life was leaving me. She once bought me the full return ticket as I’ve not been working and was financially unstable as of then. After so much persuasion, In 2021, I gave in to her advice to have a change of environment and that was when the story changed.

“I traveled and came back with a cleared mind but again December 2023, when we had our yearly Christmas family gathering, with my siblings, my cousins and their kids. I remembered seated in a corner, while my siblings were dancing and merrily singing, I was silently praying to God not to celebrate 2024 December alone. I professed to celebrate December 2024 as a complete fulfilled woman. I got home that night, I couldn’t control my emotions. I cried and screamed my lungs out. I remembered how much I had to drink that night hoping it would help me forget my sorrow.

“I was so drunk that I woke up in my vomit the next morning. How sad and pathetic it was. I Feel so disgusted realizing the mess I made of myself and burst into tears again.I remember seating there in my vomit turning the situation into a prayer point. I prayed to God to help wash me off my disgust and perfect all that concern me. In my weakness, I managed to get up, had my bath and came out of my room like nothing happened (Of course am very good at wearing the AM OKAY face mask).

“December 31st 2023, at the crossover night. My main prayer point was still for God to rewrite my story, cause the world to call me by a new name and I am grateful for answered prayers because God finally FIREWAMIRI.

“To anyone struggling, looking forward to her testimony, please know that you are not alone. Nothing about this journey is easy. Know that you did nothing to deserve the challenges you are going through right now and whatever you’re feeling is valid. Am using my testimony as a point of contact on your behalf that no matter the challenges you are facing, you will testify to God’s kindness and mercy.”