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As an ex-serviceman of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), I spent a year in Cross River State in faithful service to my Fatherland, where I was posted to a town outside the capital, Calabar. Now back home, everyoneās curious about how my service year went in Calabar, although, ironically, I wasnāt actually based in the state capital. But in most peopleās minds, Cross River is Calabarāwhether youāre stationed in Ikom, Boki, Biase, Ogoja, Etung, or anywhere else. Calabar is like the shorthand that defines the entire state.
One thing people always ask me is, āHow are the women?ā This question often comes with a smirk or a knowing look, thanks to a stereotype thatās spread across Nigeria: the belief that “Calabar women” are particularly sexually assertive or have an unusually high sexual energy. The second question, perhaps even more outrageous, is: āDo they still eat humans?ā It’s as if some outdated and fictional portrayal of Cross River people still colours our view of them. Yes, this odd, outdated assumption about cannibalism in the area is still floating around.
Addressing the stereotypes about Calabar women
Letās start with the stereotype about Calabar women. Thereās a common belief in Nigeria that women from Calabar (or Cross River more broadly) are more interested in or enthusiastic about sex than women from other parts of the country. Some even go as far as to say that they are somehow āinsatiableā or that being with them is an experience unlike any other.
This notion, however, is deeply flawed and, frankly, insulting. It reflects a stereotype that borders on prejudice. Yes, many women in Calabar may be more open about their desires and might seem more assertive in pursuing what they want. But this doesnāt make them nymphomaniacs. In reality, people everywhere have their unique ways of expressing themselves and their preferences, and itās unfair and limiting to label one group as inherently more promiscuous or āwildā based on such superficial perceptions.
In my experience, the women I met in Cross River are like women everywhere elseāindividuals with a wide range of personalities, preferences, and life goals. To claim otherwise, or to imply that women from this region are somehow ādifferentā in this way, shows a lack of understanding and respect. In fact, many other cultures in Nigeria may engage in similar behaviors; they just donāt talk about it openly, making Cross Riverās openness seem distinct. But openness should never be confused with promiscuity or promiscuity assumed to be universal.
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Breaking the cannibalism myth
Now, the second question I hear is even more baffling. Some people, influenced by outdated stories, ask if the people in Cross River are still cannibals. Historically, itās true that some form of cannibalism existed centuries ago in certain towns, specifically in Ugep, a town in Cross River. But thatās a distant piece of history, and to assume itās part of todayās culture is to ignore how societies evolve and grow.
The Cross River people are some of the warmest, friendliest, and most welcoming people I have ever met. I can confidently say that their hospitality rivals any I have experienced in almost three decades of my existence. The myth of cannibalism is outdated and unfounded, based on an ancient practice long abandoned and condemned by the very people who now bear the brunt of this stereotype. The Cross Riverians I met were genuine, accommodating, and eager to share their cultureānot the type to hold onto a savage past. Besides, they are proud of their cultural heritage, which includes rich traditions, cuisine, and festivals, none of which involve anything remotely close to what these stories suggest.
The danger of spreading misconceptions
These stereotypes donāt just hurt the people of Cross River; they also show a lack of willingness to see beyond oneās assumptions. When people ask me about these two stereotypesāwomenās sexual behavior and cannibalismāthey reveal their own ignorance rather than any truths about Cross River. Spreading falsehoods or exaggerations about any culture only fuels discrimination and division, creating unnecessary distance between communities that could otherwise be connected by mutual respect.
So, next time someone mentions Calabar or the Cross River people, letās drop the tired stereotypes. Cross Riverians deserve to be known for their real qualitiesāopenness, warmth, and friendliness. Ignorance might make a good story for some, but truth brings people closer.
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