First- born cause: The dominating pressure of being a first child

Eyitayo Ajayi Entertainment, Featured 02/12/2024

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

From babysitting to billing, firstborns go through a lot

This article is specifically for firstborns, and its content may not resonate with everyone else, particularly lastborns.

Being a firstborn was once considered a blessing, but nowadays, it’s a far cry from bliss.

Firstborns, second parents

Culturally, firstborns are expected to inherit the majority of their father’s assets, making them the primary decision-makers in the household. However, in recent times, firstborns are often burdened with financial responsibilities rather than receiving a worthy inheritance.

I recently stumbled upon a tweet that highlighted the unrealistic expectations placed on firstborns. The tweet featured a screenshot of a message from a sibling to their firstborn brother, criticizing him for not being able to provide for the family.

As the eldest child, firstborns have a head start in life due to their timing. They are often expected to carry the respect and responsibility that comes with being the forerunner. This can be a heavy burden, as they are often tagged as the “second parents.”

While it’s undoubtedly a joyous experience for firstborns to be able to provide for themselves and their siblings, it’s essential to acknowledge that financial stability is crucial in fulfilling this responsibility.

However, not everyone is born with a silver spoon, and the struggle to make ends meet can be overwhelming. It’s essential to recognize that firstborn children are not inherently responsible for taking care of their family’s financial burdens.

The dominating pressure on first-borns

Culturally and religiously, firstborns may be expected to carry significant responsibilities, but this does not mean they should be saddled with the weight of their family’s expectations. In fact, parents should strive to be intentional and responsible in their parenting, ensuring that they do not transfer their burdens to their children. This means providing for all their children, not just the firstborn-emphasis on all.

However, it’s crucial to remember that firstborns should not be expected to carry the weight of their family’s responsibilities alone. As a firstborn, it’s essential to prioritize your own development and well-being, rather than shouldering the burdens of your family. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as pursuing your own goals and aspirations.

There are so many church programmes that hold retreats, vigils and prayers for firstborns so that they can be successful and won’t be their siblings’ slaves. You think say you dey wise in Sabinus’ voice.

Yes, as a firstborn, if you keep focusing on yourself as the breadwinner and not include your siblings in that kind of prayer, you’ll become the one-eyed man in the blind kingdom. Don’t be the only messiah in the house. Strive for your siblings’ progress too.

Moreover in Christian-dom, we’re all firstborn sons through the redemption of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Underlying pressure of being a firstborn child

“As the first-born, you have to be responsible.” Everyone has to be responsible. “As the first-born, you have to be a good role model.”. Everyone should be good role models. The pressure on firstborns is just too much.

It’s only when firstborns inherit worthy inheritance that the public realises them but when they inherit debts, traumas, and struggles, everyone suddenly becomes mute. They are tagged with the responsibility of taking care of the family, and filling up their parents’ shoes. Even when it’s obvious they don’t wear the same shoes as their parents.

However, it is a blessing to be a firstborn. You are the forerunner before your siblings and you’ve got a lot of work to do! I’m not scaring you, it’s a lot of burden. If you enter into the labour force while your siblings are still in learning institutions, it most times becomes your burden. Your chats will be characterised with sweet caring messages before the billing spree.

Someone once said this, “As a first-born, put yourself first. Develop yourself first before you take up the burden”. This statement is right. If you spend all your youthful days carrying up your parents’ burden out of emotional and sheer responsibility and ignore yourself, when you make your other siblings, you’ll be left alone with the effects of your turmoil.

In conclusion, being a firstborn can be a blessing, but it’s essential to recognize the challenges and responsibilities that come with this role. By prioritizing your own development and well-being, you can navigate the complexities of being a firstborn and fulfil your responsibilities with confidence and compassion.