Breaking up is never easy. The pain that comes with the end of a relationship can be overwhelming, and often, one person in the relationship feels the hurt more deeply than the other.
It’s not uncommon for hurt individuals to express sentiments like, “I did so much for you when you had nothing,” or “I gave my all to you, and you left me.” These statements reflect a common misconception about relationships.
It’s essential to realize that healthy relationships shouldn’t be built on trying to prove love or making someone stay. Actions in a relationship should stem from genuine feelings and a sense of personal volition.
When a woman decides to be intimate with a man, it should be because she genuinely desires to share that experience with him, rather than using it as a test of love.
Similarly, when a man provides financial support to his partner, it should be something he would willingly do for anyone, not an attempt to gain favor or showcase affection.
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But why is it important to detach actions from expectations?
The distinction lies in understanding the nature of relationships. Dating or relationship is like testing waters and we should learn not to set our expectations so high about someone we are dating. . People remain themselves in relationships; they may adopt new values and beliefs that don’t align with their partner’s. This is why assuming that someone will change for you often leads to disappointment.
Anything one does in a relationship should be motivated by genuine motives and greatest concern for oneself first.
People don’t change, contrary to what most people believe, they just embrace different values and belief systems that are incongruous with the other person’s.
While breakups will always be painful, rethinking the way we approach relationships can minimize the heartache. Remember, it’s not about changing people, but about cherishing who they are and respecting your own needs and boundaries.
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