Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Anger is a common emotion that we all experience from time to time. It’s normal to feel angry when something unfair happens or when we’re wronged. But there’s another type of anger that’s less reasonable, and that’s the anger of people who feel entitled.
These people expect others to do things for them that they’re unwilling or unable to do themselves. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they blame others, making it difficult for them to grow or succeed.
This kind of anger usually comes from people who want others to solve their problems because they’re unwilling to do it themselves. They expect their family, friends, or colleagues to make life easy for them, even if they’re capable of solving these issues on their own. Take, for instance, a young man who doesn’t want to work hard or save money but expects his family to always bail him out. When his parents refuse to keep giving him financial support, he becomes angry, accusing them of not caring for him or being unfair. But the truth is, his anger is misplaced. His family isn’t responsible for his poor choices, and he could find ways to support himself if he took responsibility.
This pattern of blaming others and refusing to own mistakes appears in many situations. In families, there may be a sibling who always expects support, regardless of their own actions. Imagine someone who spends recklessly, ignoring advice from loved ones to save or manage money. Yet, each time they get into trouble, they expect their family to rescue them. When the family finally sets boundaries, refusing to keep helping out, the person reacts with anger and resentment, believing their family is “abandoning” them. In reality, the family is simply respecting their boundaries and encouraging the person to take responsibility for their own life.
In friendships, we sometimes see similar behavior. Imagine someone who constantly borrows money from friends, expecting them to understand and support them every time. If a friend decides not to lend money one day, the borrower becomes upset, accusing the friend of being selfish or disloyal. This reaction is rooted in a sense of entitlement—the borrower believes their friend “should” always be there to help, regardless of the friend’s own situation or feelings. Instead of asking themselves why they continually need to borrow, they place the blame on others, becoming angry rather than reflecting on their own choices.
Even in the workplace, this entitled anger can appear. Imagine a coworker who consistently arrives late to work and misses deadlines but expects everyone to overlook these issues. When their supervisor finally confronts them about their performance, they become defensive and angry, insisting that they’re being “picked on” or treated unfairly. Rather than taking steps to improve their work, they find fault with their boss or colleagues. This person’s anger isn’t rooted in genuine unfair treatment; instead, it’s fueled by the expectation that everyone should simply accept their behavior.
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There are, of course, situations where anger is a reasonable emotion. When someone is genuinely wronged or treated unjustly, anger can be a natural and healthy response. For example, if someone works hard at their job and their boss suddenly cuts their pay without explanation, that person’s anger is understandable. Here, the anger is not based on entitlement but on the feeling of being wronged after fulfilling responsibilities. In this case, anger may even be useful, motivating the person to seek fairness or address the issue with their boss.
But the kind of anger that comes from entitlement is very different. When people expect others to constantly make their lives easier, they avoid responsibility for their actions. This makes it harder for them to grow or improve their lives, as they are always looking outside themselves for solutions. They spend their time blaming others for their struggles, while more responsible people focus on solving their own problems.
This entitled anger also harms relationships. Friends, family members, and colleagues may initially support these individuals, but as the entitled person continues to demand more and take less responsibility, people eventually withdraw. Nobody wants to constantly be blamed or used, and eventually, even the most supportive people set boundaries. When this happens, the entitled person often finds themselves alone, which can increase their frustration and sense of abandonment. Ironically, the very attitude that drives them to expect so much from others also drives others away, leaving them with even fewer people to rely on.
One of the first steps to overcoming this type of anger is recognizing it. People who feel entitled must realize that nobody owes them anything. They need to understand that, ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own lives. By accepting this and letting go of the expectation that others will fix their problems, they can start making positive changes. Taking responsibility might mean setting personal goals, learning to manage money better, or practicing gratitude for the support they already have rather than demanding more.
For those who encounter such entitled anger from friends, family, or coworkers, setting boundaries is essential. Supporting others is a generous and kind thing to do, but when it turns into a pattern of enabling irresponsible behavior, it helps no one. Refusing to meet every demand can encourage the entitled person to take a closer look at their actions and realize the need for change.
Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be misplaced when it comes from a sense of entitlement. People who feel entitled become angry when others don’t meet their expectations, even when those expectations are unrealistic. This kind of anger is unproductive and keeps them stuck in a cycle of blaming others. By learning to let go of entitlement and take responsibility, people can use their energy to improve their lives rather than hinder them.
Now the question you should ask yourself at this point is, are you angry or just entitled?
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