How to make your New Year’s resolutions stick: Lessons from my own journey

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Now that we’re all caught up in the frenzy of making New Year’s resolutions, I’ve been reflecting on how effective they actually are. I know well enough where the excitement of them usually leads us – it’s hard to sustain them for long. I’ve made a few resolutions in the past, but I’ve never managed to keep them beyond a month or two. This lack of consistency isn’t unique to me either; I’ve seen it happen in the lives of others. In fact, I’d say it’s a common problem, and I’m happy to recognize that because when a problem is shared, no one feels left behind.

Why is consistency so hard?

You might be wondering, why do people find it so difficult to be consistent or follow through with their resolutions or goals? The answer is simple: consistency is hard. It’s tough to keep up with goals when life, distractions, and temptations come into play. But I’ll speak from my own experience.

Before every month ends, I tell myself I won’t drink alcohol the following month, but I always end up having a bottle or two. I’m like the faux-remorseful Ama Udofa, whose tweets about quitting alcohol pop up once a month, telling everyone – even those who don’t care – that he won’t drink next month. But then, he does the same thing.

It’s not just alcohol, though. My lack of consistency shows in various aspects of my life. I’ve struggled to maintain my Spanish, German, and Portuguese lessons on Duolingo, failed to finish a book, couldn’t stick to a productive routine, and missed work targets.

How to make New Year’s resolutions that stick

So, how can we make resolutions that actually stick? How do we follow through until we achieve them? My answer is simple, but not so simple: Set big or bigger goals. Let me explain.

Set a goal that feels almost insurmountable – one that requires many smaller goals to align with it. For example, if your big goal is to land a well-paying job in 2025, that’s a massive goal. But it may require smaller steps, like sending out dozens of applications, learning new skills, volunteering, or taking online courses. Each of these smaller goals propels you towards the big one – getting a job.

This strategy works in many areas of life, too.

Set big goals over smaller Goals

Your goal doesn’t have to be something grandiose. It just has to be big enough to accommodate smaller goals. For instance, smaller goals like posting on LinkedIn regularly, losing weight, getting a car, or learning a language are all valuable, but they can be too small and might lose their meaning in the grand scheme of things.

I know you’re probably familiar with the SMART framework (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). Well, the key to achieving something meaningful this year is to focus on a big goal that encompasses smaller goals. When you set a big goal, it becomes your focus, your drive, your motivation. Every other goal depends on it.

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An example of a big goal

Let me give you an illustration. If your goal is to learn a new language, that might seem like a small goal. But a bigger goal could be traveling abroad or becoming a global citizen. If you want to truly connect with the world, learning a new language becomes a stepping stone towards achieving that broader goal.

If your goal is to lose weight, the bigger goal might be to live a healthy, disease-free life. In this case, losing weight is part of the journey to a long, healthy life, and every step you take toward that goal is incremental.

Take a moment to think about how you’ve been setting goals in the past. Reflect on whether you’ve been focusing on the big picture or getting stuck on smaller, less impactful goals.

Applying the strategy: My personal example

Last year, after graduating from the University of Ibadan in June, I didn’t immediately join the NYSC batch. Instead, I waited until November/December so that I could devote 2024 to serving my country. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do after graduation, so for me, completing my NYSC became my one big goal. Everything else – receiving the State Coordinator’s Letter of Commendation, getting baptized with water, traveling to several states, and even traveling to Cameroon – were all just smaller, unexpected goals that came along the way.

Big goals often lead to unexpected wins

Sometimes, when you set a big goal, things you didn’t plan for happen along the way. For instance, during my NYSC year, I had always wanted to travel abroad. While traveling to Cameroon doesn’t quite count as “abroad” for everyone, it was still an exciting and unexpected part of my journey.

Similarly, I had long wanted to get baptized, and that happened during my service year when my pastor encouraged me to do so. It wasn’t planned, but it was a natural part of my spiritual growth during that time.

Buffer Big Goals: Managing disappointments

What if your big goal doesn’t work out? Well, sometimes life happens. Not everything can go according to plan. In those cases, having a “buffer big goal” can help. A buffer big goal is one that closely resembles your original goal and helps manage disappointments.

For example, if your goal is to get a fully-funded scholarship to study abroad, a buffer big goal could be to participate in an international program or internship abroad. It’s still a step in the direction of your larger goal.

I’ve also had buffer big goals along the way. One example was my desire to rent an apartment after completing NYSC. But life had other plans, and I ended up spending the money on something else. The key here is that even if things don’t go exactly as planned, your buffer big goal will still keep you on track.

Reward yourself for small Wins

Lastly, no matter what, remember to reward yourself for the smaller goals you achieve along the way. These incremental wins matter. They’ll help you build the confidence and momentum to reach your bigger goal.

To conclude, whether or not your big goals come to fruition, enjoy the journey. Appreciate the unexpected wins along the way, and remember, achieving your smaller goals can often be just as important as the big ones.

So, that’s all for now. I never expected this to turn into a long reflection, but I hope you found it helpful. I’d love to hear your thoughts on New Year’s resolutions and goal setting.

Wishing you a prosperous New Year and the best of luck with your dreams and goals.