Pastor Adeboye: His marital opinion and his unending antagonists

The General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Pastor Enoch Adeboye has been greeted with some harsh comments over the remarks he made about his wife on her birthday. Folu Adeboye, the wife of the revered pastor since September 9, 1957, was praised on social media for being a “powerful woman” by her husband.

Furthermore, Adeboye eulogised his wife for being a notable example for other women in the church. At 72, Adeboye admitted that his wife still cooks his meals and takes proper care of him. In addition, he stated that his wife is very submissive. This fact has stirred many controversies on social media.

Adeboye is speaking his truth

It is fast becoming a trend for individuals who assume themselves as a ‘’constituted authority’’ on relationship matters to shove their opinions on everyone. It is truth for Adeboye to say that his wife’s submission sustained his marriage for over five decades. Adeboye has proofs. Hence, he deems it fit that what worked for him MIGHT work for others.

No one is an authority in marriage. Most of us are mere opinion givers. What works for A may not work for B. More reason you should do what works for you and allow others do what works for them.

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Different centuries come with different ideologies

The preacher was born almost eight decades ago. His era was quite different from ours. The 20th century was dominant with patriarchy views which are still evident anyways. However, it is therefore necessary that we tackle the act and ideology itself without attacking the person. And hey, this is not a case of “touch not my anointed”.

It is only a quest to face reality. Most persons, during the arguments, have opined that the pastor’s marriage is so old fashioned (53 years this year). Hence, it can be excused for his views. We must recognize his time. More so, acknowledge the fact Mrs Adeboye accepted that life without having contrary views.

Sacrifice is a part of love

For every relationship built by people, there is an atom of love in it. Even animals show love to their kind. Much more, humans who have a higher knowledge of this virtue. If you love someone, there is a particular length you would go for that person. I am not just talking about sexual relationships. I mean, if someone is so dear to you, you would do whatever is within your reach to make the person happy. And it should never be one sided. Men are not a custodian of sacrificial love; neither should women be the sole provider of love. It has to be a two-way thing.

Gender-based roles is a society thing

We cannot deny the fact that the society has gender-based roles in families/relationships. Regardless, it is now left for you to do what works better for you. The most important thing here is a mutual agreement on how you want your marriage to be. In essence, marry your kind. If you and your partner agree, fine. However, it is not a determinant for you to shove your opinion on the faces of everyone. That, not withstanding, you are free to state the reasons your marriage is still standing. Live and let others live.

What are you doing to make this generation different from that of Adeboye’s

Mrs Chinyere Iwuala Obi-Obasi, an author and a Facebook user, has given her opinion on this issue. Already in her 50s, Obi-Obasi believes in molding the foundation of her children. Be it her son, or her daughters. Her only son, Chukwu Chukwu, is a practical example.

She has taught him to cook and see the need to always assist his wife when he marries. In one sentence, Obi-Obasi has trained up a child in the way he should grow. She has done her part in ensuring that this generation exists practically different from the way the 20th century ideologies were formed.

It is the duty of everyone to learn and unlearn ways for a new ideology to thrive. Raining insults on the old preacher will amount to nothing. In fact, he probably does not care. Often, Adeboye is “dragged” for his ideas on marriage. That has not stopped him from making his opinions known regularly.

For you to quench his opinion, you have to come out with contrary views and proofs without insults. That way, you are defeating patriarchy, one person at a time.