Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Sexual self-esteem is easily one of the most shrugged-off discussions in Nigerian society. This is due to the suppressive nature the average Nigerian is built or designed to believe he or she is, they live the predominant part of their existence in pretence, fear and coyness.
They do not express their genuine sexuality, instead of embracing the absoluteness of their gender, they hide behind the concept of religion, feign modesty and abscond from discussions that deal with the fundamentals of human nature, sexuality.
In Jss 3 class, our Integrated Science teacher lectured us on the topic, āPubertyā. We enjoyed it though shyly and too timid to admit that our bodies are transiting from childhood into the early adulthood phase, instead, we mocked our peers by wrapping insults in a cocoon of low self-esteem and insecurity.
ALSO READ:
The girl who didnāt grow boobs fast questioned her feminity, she didnāt feel feminine enough. As for the male child, he wonders why he doesnāt get a bulge as massive as other boys in his department, steadily, low self-worth creeps in.
We donāt build youngsters enough to understand their own body and how to be confident in their gender and most importantly, sexuality. Sex is often discussed from a place of shame and guilt, like an offence against the gods and humanity.
Interestingly, everyone fortunate enough to study this material is a product of sex and most especially, a heterosexual coitus.
Walk with me, ladies and gentlemen.
What is Sexual Self-Esteem?
According to the online health platform, Hims.com, Sexual self-esteem simply refers to how confident you feel about yourself, your sexuality and how you treat your partner. Simply put, it is the value that you give yourself as a sexual being.
A variety of factors would affect our sexual confidence over the years as we grow, transition and mature. This is why it is quintessential to inculcate the lectures of sexual self-esteem at an early phase in the life of a person. Men care about the length and size of their āmanhoodā, longevity in bed, sexual charisma, etc. other notable factors are height, weight and financial bouyancy of the subject. Itās a multilayered aspect of life.
As for women, they are concerned with the appropriateness of their physique, their private area and attractiveness.
WHY PEOPLE LACK SEXUAL SELF-ESTEEM
As stated above, some people never feel good enough in themselves due to various reasons. It could be due to experiences of disappointment and betrayal over the years, however, it is due to the lack of an ideal structure.
They have been fundamentally broken, lack of trust and miseducation. People have garnered some traumatic experiences from as early as 13, hence, it is almost impossible for them to let go in their 30s.
HOW TO BUILD SEXUAL SELF-ESTEEM
It is your responsibility to build healthy sexual self-esteem. It is in your place, no one can do it for you; you can be supported and instructed on what to do, but then, you have to be accountable for yourself.
The following are ways to build a sexual self-esteem:
- Talk to a therapist: Book a session with a therapist or a counsellor and shed the heaviness in your heart to them. Remember, a problem shared is a problem half-solved.
2. Hit the gym: Not everyone needs to be a fitness model, however, the gym is a place where you not only build your muscles but also help to develop self-esteem, and confidence and accentuate your fitness propensity. Run on a treadmill, lift a dumbbell, join a yoga class, and just make sure your body is given a full expression.
3. Familiarize yourself with your body, and your needs: You must come to the place of doing some introspection, what exactly is wrong with you? You need to understand your body because your body only belongs to you and no one else. It is your primary responsibility to take care of yourself and get the appropriate treatment.
If you consume excess calories, curb it. If you do not shave nor take care of your private area, then begin to engage in it.
To experience a greater sense of self-worth, it commences from the inside of you.
4. Explore with your partner: To become sexually confident, you must be prepared to explore the beauty of sex, romance and love with your partner, discover your respective fetishes and kinks. You become more confident sexually when you embark on the fountain of lust and desires- disclose your fears and insecurities, talk to them about how you feel and be sure to make adjustments where necessary.
5. You can only take it one day at a time: A decade of expertise commences within a day, one day at a time. At first, you would feel uncomfortable within your own skin, but as the days go by, you begin to accept yourself and become more comfortable with your sexuality.
You cannot be in a haste to experience everything that life has to offer, however, like a banana, you need to first take off the peel at least to have a good taste of what the fruit has to offer. Never be in a haste to go through the moments, instead, be calm and understand that you would make mistakes en route to becoming a more proactive version of yourself.
In case you made it to the end of this article, below is an article to show you how you can get a partner before the end of 2024.
Discover more from News Round The Clock
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
