The Other Side of Sexual Abuse

‘’So many years past being raped. I tell myself what happened is in the past. This is only partly true because in many ways the past is still with me. The past is written on my body. I carry it every single day. The past sometimes feels like it will kill me. It is a very heavy burden.”- Hunger (A Memoir of (my) Body) by Roxane Gay.

Rape is one immoral act that has been ravaging our society. Usually, trading blames was an act to victimize the raped and give excuses for the rapist. However, victims have been coming out recently to speak up. They no longer care for the stigma or what the society thinks of them.

During my stay in the university, I was privy to a conversation by my roommates. Anita (not real name); stated categorically that she could not come out to say that she was raped. Instead, she prefers to die with such information. It is quite disheartening that the victim is now the ashamed even though it should be the other way round.

Let me take you into the world of Tracy, a rape victim whom we shall use to buttress The Other Side of Sexual Abuse.

Tracy has always relied on the support of her brother to push through life. His availability and positive energy towards her has helped in her healing for the past three months. Triggered by life’s oddities and the sexual abuse she suffered by her step brother at age 18, Tracy’s life may not be the same again.

With a quest to live above being a victim, Tracy found solace in social media platforms. Having heard about the experiences of other rape victims, she changed her narrative about men. She had clung to the narrative that all men are potential rapists. All they need is an opportunity to strike. However, her brother has been able to thrash such narrative off her head.

Sexual Abuse

It is a despicable act, and can be tamed. Before we analyse any reasons why it is committed. We have heard of various factors that could enable a man forcefully penetrate a woman. Nevertheless, we must establish the fact that sexual abuse goes beyond forceful penetration.

That tap on the buttocks, the shoving across the woman’s breast, and a general attempt to get a feel of flesh is sexual abuse to the woman. This often lead to stained memories, quashed dreams, and it can trigger low self esteem as the abused struggle to establish faith in herself again.

Sexual abuse is tougher for children because they lose their childhood too early. Thoughts of the act stick to their memories as they fathom ways to believe the abuse was not their fault.

The rape Tracy suffered made her believe that, if she goes into a man’s house, she could be raped. Hence, she made it a taboo to visit any man. Tracy also believed if she dressed with her body parts largely uncovered, she could be a victim of sexual abuse. Therefore, she made it a point of duty to always dress all covered.

Every tip outlined for Tracy to escape abuse was unreliable as she is presently living the life of a victim with her self esteem diminished.

Tracy can’t stop wondering how her step-brother could find her sexually attractive which in itself is quite appalling and disgusting. She was raped, not because she was indecently dressed. Neither was it because she visited a man. Tracy was raped because her abuser was a predator who lacked sexual control and discipline.

If we are to deal with sexual abuse, we must attack the act wholeheartedly. When a man touches a woman indiscriminately, it is an act of sexual abuse. The intention to forcefully seek sexual fulfillment with a woman should be condemned and never given any reason to thrive.

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In recent times, we have heard of numerous cases of sexual abuse in the country. While we cannot deny the fact that men also get abused, it is not debatable that women are mostly on the slab of sexual abuse.

The act has tamed many dreams and caused guilty feeling on its victims. As these victims rise above victimhood, the society must give them every support they need.

Tracy is one out of a million girls in the society who has been harangued by the claws of rape. Condemning the act of rape is plausible. Nevertheless, the suspects must also be dealt with, vehemently. It will serve as a lesson to others. We win, one at a time.

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