What are the factors to consider before dating your friend’s ex?

Relationship matters are serious issues and should be treated as such. In some cases, they can be so complicated or messy, and they require a great deal of wisdom to deal with them or manage.

One of these such issues is whether it is ‘appropriate’ to date your friend’s ex or not. There are a number of factors to consider.

Your level of friendship

It is important to evaluate your relationship with your friend and whether dating his or her ex can negatively affect the bond between you both. No matter how much you love your friend’s ex or vice versa, it is important you first communicate your feelings with your friend and let him/her know what you are up to.

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This does not mean that your friend will be comfortable with this or agree. But it is highly important you open up to him or her and know his or her stance. Is your friend comfortable with this? Are there unresolved conflicts between both of them? This can give you some insight into how to deal with potential problems (like sex, conflict and you name it), or even see if the relationship is worth sacrificing your friendship for because you want to date his/her ex. This is because your options are not that limited; there are other men or women out there.

Know what caused the break-up or separation

While communicating with your friend, it is important to ask right set of questions, or investigate by yourself why they broke up. Is it because of toxicity, incompatibility, attitudinal or differences in values and beliefs? No matter how much your friend’s ex loves you, you must know what you are getting yourself into.

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Lastly, is your decision premised on love or pleasure?

This question boils down to your moral inclination. Are you being driven by the physical features your friend’s ex possesses, money, or by sheer love for him or her? It’s important to ask yourself these questions and ponder on them before jumping on this decision.

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The ball is now in your court. Please play it well.