Why adults are not getting married early and the solutions

In Nigeria, as in many parts of the world, the traditional norm of early marriage is giving way to a new trend – adults increasingly delaying or even opting out of the institution altogether.

These days, a number of men are running away from marriage commitment. Women, too, are being mindful of what they are committing themselves into.

Here are some reasons adults are running away from marriage and the solutions to these reasons.

Career pursuits

Gone are the days when marriage was a gateway to financial stability. Today, young adults in Nigeria are focusing on building their careers and achieving financial independence before considering marriage.

The cost of living, education, and housing has surged over the years, making it challenging for many to afford the expenses associated with weddings and setting up a household.

As young professionals strive to establish themselves in their chosen fields, they often view marriage as an additional financial burden rather than a step toward stability.

Moreover, Nigerian women are increasingly entering the workforce and pursuing higher education, challenging traditional gender roles. Many are prioritizing their careers, aiming to achieve a level of success before settling down.

This shift is transforming societal expectations and the dynamics within relationships, as couples navigate the complexities of dual career aspirations.

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Desire for autonomy

Modern Nigerian adults are placing a higher value on personal growth, self-discovery, and autonomy. Marriage is often viewed as a significant life event that requires considerable compromise and adjustment.

With changing societal expectations, young adults are more inclined to prioritize their own aspirations and personal development over conforming to traditional norms. This shift in priorities is reframing the narrative around marriage, as individuals seek fulfillment and happiness on their own terms.

Furthermore, the rise of divorce rates and stories of unhappy marriages has made many Nigerians more cautious about rushing into marriage. This generation is keen on avoiding the mistakes of the past and taking the time to find compatible partners who share their values and goals.

Social norms are changing

Nigeria’s cultural landscape is evolving, and with it, the dynamics of relationships are also changing. The younger generation is exposed to global ideas through the internet and social media, which has led to a reevaluation of traditional norms.

There is a growing emphasis on personal freedom, individuality, and self-expression, which can sometimes clash with traditional expectations placed on married individuals. As a result, many adults are opting for relationships that provide companionship and emotional support without necessarily formalizing them through marriage.

In addition, the concept of “serial monogamy” is on the rise, where individuals engage in long-term committed relationships without the legal or religious commitment of marriage. This reflects a desire for flexibility and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances without the constraints of a traditional marriage.

Solutions

Find someone to grow with

Chances are that you will meet someone who is ready to grow with you, who doesn’t care much about childbearing or not going to even have one, and also respect your career and life choices.

Stop following societal norms

In this age, no man is economically ready to shoulder all the family responsibilities by himself. In the same vein, no woman is ready to play the full housewife game.

The man must begin to do away with traditional gender roles and see himself as a cook, cleaner, and every other thing as he sees his wife. The woman, too, must begin to see herself as a provider and see marriage as a partnership, where both partners are both building things together.

Not following societal norms may also mean you are ready to embrace the concept of “serial monogamy”, where individuals engage in long-term committed relationships without the legal or religious commitment of marriage.

In the long run, it is important to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, as the reasons for delaying marriage vary widely among individuals. Besides, it is not a must to get married if you do not want to.