The media has been awash with reports of a teenager, Chidera Jedidiah who destroyed his mom’s properties out of a disagreement he had with her. The news went viral on social media and Nigerians, in their usual style have turned judges and analysts on the issue.
I was gobsmacked by this teenagers action and it opened up the debate on children raised outside the shores of Nigeria have less morals compared to those raised at home. In my desire to hear from the other party, I strolled to the Twitter handle of the boy to get a scoop of the whole story.
Unfortunately, I found more than I had bargained for. There was a detailed account of the whole event. Also, I got adequate information than a mere reaction to what I initially desired. The case of Chidera Jedidiah is one of the numerous cases of disoriented parenting in our climes.
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This story took me many years back to when a 21 year old Tolani Ajayi made news headlines for killing his father. That act was highly despicable and condemnable to say the least.
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Equally, it is disheartening to say that a child killed his father. The worst of it all was his rationale behind the murder of his father.
The response I expected was for him to push the act on the devil. Instead, Tolani gave a comprehensive blame on himself and explained ways his father abused him in the name of discipline and training up a child in the way he should grow.
I am not against disciplining a child. However, are we going to do it for the rest of our lives as parents? These days, what we call discipline is pure child abuse. It is pertinent to note that these abusive means of training children have made teenagers to become timid and find solace outside their parents.
Many teenagers cannot confide in their parents because they do not trust them. All they get is constant scoldings, beatings, and condemnation. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye for a needle, than for SOME parents to praise their children.
If we do not want our children to compare us as parents, we should not compare them either. Every child is unique in his or her own way.
I am not generalizing these claims. However, I am all out to say that Nigerians should stop bragging about Nigeria being a better place to raise children. In order words, affirming that Nigeria is a place to normalise abuse.
Are Children Raised Better in Nigeria?
Nigeria raise better children, yet, we have youths who are greatly involved in crime. Didn’t they get enough beating while growing? How about the pickpockets stationed at bus stops? Where they not disciplined? Where they spared the rod?
There are so many ways to raise a child, especially when the child grows into adulthood. Speaking to a child with love, and dropping the bitterness will help to boost the ego of the child.
Children feel insecure when they feel unloved. Some have low self esteem because they have not been allowed to express themselves and some are bereft of confidence because the little faith they have in themselves have been beaten away from them.
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Chidera Jedidiah is one of the many youths who ended up expressing themselves with sheer anger. He resorted to destroying properties with every bad treatment he got, rather than resort to physical fight like Tolani did.
In addition, as we continue to argue on who is right or wrong, let’s take note of the fact that children have feelings too. Beating and constantly assaulting children teaches them violence. Apparently, they are products of such abusive treatments.
Beating is not the only way to discipline a child. The fact that you came out strong from an abusive home does not mean that everyone will. Stop the abuse.
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