Recently, I had a discussion with someone who lamented about being tired, overwhelmed with a lot of things, and said she just wanted to be alone. My response was simply, “As an adult, you can’t be alone”. And as much as my response was intended to be funny, it is the truth.
Adulthood gives us this sort of freedom, freedom to do as we like; yet, with this freedom comes many responsibilities and expectations that can sometimes make us feel like we’re teetering on the edge of sanity.
As we adult, there are some truths we must accept about adulthood and realities that we must also come to terms with
1. Run away and become useless
The truth is, the moment you become an adult, you can’t run away from your responsibilities, and expectations will always be there to validate you. Or how do you run away from a family that you’re supposed to take care of? Or from a job that currently pays your bills? And I’m sure you can’t shelve a task or activities that hold immense benefits for your future self.
If people can't use you, that means you're useless.Adulthood is about coming to terms with some realities. For instance, I’ve stopped complaining about how demanding my work is. Because, if I don’t work, how am I supposed to pay my bills? Wouldn’t my inability to pay my bills make me less responsible? However, as demanding as my work is, or the responsibilities are, I’ve always made sure I prioritize my mental health.
2. Be selfish with your time or you’ll lose focus
I’m so selfish with my time. The demands of adulthood often leave us with little time for ourselves. Often times, failure to prioritize self-care leads to burnout and a decline in mental health. I love my work, and I love what I currently do, but I’ve also made sure that my well-being is a priority, making time for activities that bring me joy, such as learning a second language, listening to good music, cooking, or spending time with my family. Remember, self-care is not selfish; it’s an essential component of maintaining your sanity.
If you’re going to involve me in activities that do not align with my goals and values, I turn them down, or at best delegate this task or refer you to someone that can do it for you. Setting healthy boundaries has allowed me to focus on what truly matters — and also to protect my mental health.
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This means that I know what I want or don’t want, and can say no when necessary. We often feel the pressure to please everyone and take on more than we can handle. Learning to set boundaries is crucial to maintaining our mental health. My rule of thumb is, not everything deserves my time and energy, not every gossip or hearsay even.
As adults, you’ll always need to recognize your limits and don’t be afraid to say no to commitments that overwhelm you.
3. What is more meaningful or rewarding to you?
Again, I know the responsibilities that come with adulthood are endless. I’m still constantly trying to to find a balance between work, my personal life, and leisure activities. I schedule my tasks a lot, prioritizing one above the other in order to avoid overloading yourself. However, I’ll always find time for me to rest, binge-watch my favourite series, learn a second language, and go out to have fun with my friends. The memories created during these moments are all that matters. Really.
The more you adult, the more you should begin to create the life you want for yourself. What kind of job do you want? Where do you want to stay? What are you doing right now that your future self will thank you for in the next 5-10years? What matters to you in life, really: family, work, money, or peace of mind? You must constantly engage in self-introspection.
4. You simply cannot do it alone
I’ve come to realize that navigating adulthood becomes more manageable when you have a supportive network of friends, family, and even mentors. It’s a good thing to seek help–financial or whatever, or to surround yourself with positive influences who uplift and inspire you. Engage in meaningful conversations, seek advice when needed, and offer support to others. Building a strong support system can provide solace during challenging times and remind you that you’re not alone in this journey.
5. Adapt or die
Lastly, life is constantly throwing stuff at us, and we are all trapped in this adulthood. You either adapt or die. Understand that setbacks and failures are part of the growth process. And of course, you’re going to fail many times. Learn from them, adjust your plans, and keep moving forward. Cultivate a growth mindset that allows you to see challenges as opportunities for personal development.
By embracing change and staying resilient, you can navigate adulthood with greater ease.
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