Saturday, 18 May, 2024

Coin d’amour: Why Gen Zs find it hard to sustain a long-distance relationship


Coin d'amour

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

Most young people find it hard to stay committed in a long-distance relationship (LDR). They weigh their feelings physically and believe staying committed to someone you cannot see is impossible. Moreover, they forget how their ancestors had partners over a long distance. They sustained their relationships having good faith that their partners were on the same page in love.

Photo Credit:- TheHoneycombers.

Even when the advent of letter writing came to be, people had to wait months to get their letters delivered- another set of months to get a reply. It happens then that people might not find out about their warring partner’s death until a few months later. Their love then not only stood the test of time but that of distance.

Loving in those days was beyond physical criteria, love should go beyond physical connection but a point where souls connect. These days, there is the advent of technology for back-to-back and instant messaging unlike the days of old, We have got video calls to see how your partner is doing over a thousand miles. And if you have all the means, you could catch the next flight or bus or ferry to your partner’s location.

Most Gen Zs believe that they cannot remain faithful in an LDR

Young people air their views on why they cannot stay faithful in an LDR. They have so many excuses as to why they cannot work a relationship over a distance. But these reasons are not viable enough to not give LDR a trial. Some of these views are;

View 1:- What is my partner doing away from me? I do not have to stay faithful to them since I do not know what they are doing.

Answer:- Why are you dating someone you cannot trust? Leave them to unfaithfulness and keep your side of the deal.

View 2:- I cannot stay without touching my partner. My love language is physical touch

Answer:- All is fair in discipline. You have to discipline yourself not to seek that from someone else when your partner is not around.

View 3:- It is peak fooling to date someone over a distance. There is no way to confirm their love.

Answer:- LDR is not peak fooling but another level of commitment that requires sacrifice. People stay true to it and have it right. There are other ways to confirm love other than seeing them physically.

View 4:- It is easier for people in an LDR to cheat than couples staying together.

Answer:- This is a misconception. People cheat on their partners right under their partner’s noses. The issue of cheating on one’s partner is an issue of promiscuity. The same reason people cheat on their partners because of distance is the same reason why they do when they are in proximity.

Some Gen Zs believe in the ritual of breaking up with their partners anytime there is a cause of relocation. The idea of an impossible love over a distance is a wrong mindset. You think you cannot cope even with the provisions technology has made.

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Even after the promises of nothing can come in between, distance is the factor that separates them. This issue can be traced back to the fact that most young people start relationships out to satisfy their sexual desires primarily. They constantly make physical connections and neglect the mind and soul connection.

Faithfulness now becomes impossible when their partners are not available to make that physical connection with them. There is no fuel in their mind and soul bank to keep the relationship sailing. Connecting to a partner’s soul and mind is the most beautiful aspect of love to explore. You guys are in sync at the point you connect that way

What is love if it is not tested by distance?

How do you say you love someone when you cannot keep being in love when they are not there? You claim you cannot hold down you cannot ignore your sexual urges for them. Where then is your discipline? Love is patient and kind, if you are not willing to stay faithful to your partner even when you are thousand miles apart, then you need to redefine your feelings.

The distance is not meant to be forever. If you say you love your partner but you cannot stay faithful to them over a distance, it is safe to say that you never loved them at all. Love is a strong emotion to whither over distance. It does not dissipate quickly over a thousand miles.

LDR is not for the weak but you are strong

In the era where relationship people oppress the singles, people in LDR do not have it easy. They constantly wish they are with their partners in proximity but life’s course is way ahead of them. If you find yourself in an LDR, seek constant communication first. Your relationship solely thrives on that at the moment.

Pant after emotional connection rather than your bodies colliding. You gain more emotional security by knowing who your partner is in depth. You know who they are and you find them worthy enough to stay committed to them over a distance.


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