10 different kinds of passengers that make our journey by road memorable

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

When you travel by bus in Nigeria, especially those buses from Ibadan, Lagos, and Kogi, or even from somewhere to anywhere in Nigeria, chances are that you must have met some passengers with their so particular idiosyncrasies.

In my travelling itinerary, I have become quite observant of these passengers and how they act or behave the way they do. I must confess these people always make travelling experience worth the wait.

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The Sleepers

These people deserve the first spot here. The moment the journey commences, they start sleeping. It is as if they were waiting for the driver to start the bus. The bad Nigerian roads and the moribund condition of the bus do not have the power to deter them from their sleep.

Some even migrated from mere sleeping to loud snoring, oblivious of the chagrin they cause other passengers. These people feel too relaxed as if they were sleeping on their own couch, even to the point of resting their head on your shoulders.

They are specially made and highly peaceful with themselves, in that they do not bother about accidents, kidnappings, or other road concerns.

The Preachers

In their usual characteristic manner, they will start the prayers, asking God to come down from heaven and drive the bus himself, and covering the driver and every other person in the bus with the saving blood of Jesus.

If it were a woman that anchored the prayer, and said it in Yoruba, rest assured that you’d say a quiet Amen even if you were a chronic atheist.

These preachers and I respect them a lot for their whims and caprices, will then graduate from praying to little admonition from the words of God. In fact, this little admonition always metamorphoses into threats of hellfire for fornicators, smokers, and alcoholics. Oftentimes, the threats can last for an hour or more.

A few hours later, you’ll be surprised or rather shocked when you see her pick a call and she starts raining heavenly curses on her enemies or how she behaves discourteously towards other passengers in the bus.

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The Foodie

These people do not have a modicum of empathy toward other passengers on the bus. All through the journey, they buy and eat anything buyable and eatable on the road. They might be sitting down at the far end of the bus and will have the temerity to send you to get them boiled corn, walnut, Fanta, dodo Ikire, or akara for them. No matter how much stuff they buy, they do not have the decency to call you to join them.

Sometimes, you might even wonder why they entered the same bus with you because they look more privileged by their eating standard. A few seconds after they’ve devoured all their food, they quickly join the sleeping cohort. You will be extremely fortunate if these people do not mess up the whole car with stench before you alight from the bus.

The Assistant Drivers

These people drive the same bus as the driver. They tell the drivers where and when to drive slowly and caution them that they speed too much. It doesn’t matter if they have never owned a car in their entire life. They tell the driver and all who care to listen that they are not ready to die yet. They shout at the slightest opportunity and thank God intermittently for promptly coming to their rescue, even if all that happened was just another driver that overtook their bus.

The Storytellers

All hail the second Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie or second Wole Soyinka that never was. These people are reputed for telling fantastic stories, just that at the end of it all, the stories do not just add up. But you’d never care, though. You have been enjoying the sensational stories of how a man’s scrotum was cut off by his wife to prepare dinner for him. The last thing you wouldn’t do is question the veracity of the information. And you must not dare question the logicality behind these stories, lest you will be seen as an outlier.

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The Headset Wearers

These people give everybody in the car a middle finger. They do not give a hoot about anyone or the happenings in the car. They are so immersed in their songs and nod their heads to the rhythm of the songs. Also, they are so relaxed and focused, always minding their own business. They are often rich, you know, but they just choose to ride with the less privileged like you.

The Debaters

All hail the greatest debaters ever. These people argue about every little thing. From the causes of failed marriages to a woman who wears pants on social media, from how Buhari is still the Jubril from Sundan to how Peter Obi has already won the 2023 election with a landslide victory. Their topics are mostly absurd, and they seamlessly navigate from one topic to the other. They argue so passionately, even insulting one another in the process. 

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The Callers

Coming from the trenches love, these people immerse themselves in calls throughout the journey. They even do video calls and laugh so annoyingly at their dry jokes. Imagine! On public transport. They often complain of network failure and bemoan having to travel on public transport, even when all they have are their two legs and some change in their accounts. From my experience, most of them have already borrowed some airtime from their network providers. Little wonder they use WhatsApp audio/video calls.

The Woman with 10 Kids

If you have not been annoyed with this particular woman on a bus, I must commend your anger management skills. This woman enters and pays for a seat on the bus and distributes her kids among several passengers on the bus. She tells her kid, Tope, to follow her aunt, and Adigun to follow his uncle, and she does the same for all her kids. You will now become uncles and aunts to nephews and nieces you never had and carry them on your laps all through the journey. I have never seen anything more annoying than this. If you are so unfortunate that day, her baby might urinate on your trousers or blue skirt, and the woman tells you she’s only trying to greet you. Excuse me?

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The Vomiters

These passengers are annoying lots and are some pains in the butt. Though not deliberate, they mess up the whole bus just a few minutes into the journey. They are wicked and inconsiderate because they wouldn’t tell the driver to stop the bus. Most times, they wear this ingenuous look and you cannot but help them in their plights by offering them your bottle of water or something that can alleviate their stress. They rarely talk too and after you have helped them, they mumble some thank you.