Why you must not forgive a cheating partner twice

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

I see cheating as one of the most devastating forms of betrayal in any relationship. Trust is like a delicate vase that, once broken, can never look the same, no matter how many times you try to glue it back together.

Now, don’t get me wrong: forgiving someone who cheats the first time might be noble, a display of love, compassion, or even hope. But forgiving them a second time? That’s where I believe we need to draw the line.

A cheating partner is a danger to your health and safety

Let’s be clear: a cheating partner is not only betraying your emotional trust, but they’re also endangering your physical health. When someone is sleeping with multiple people, you have no idea what they’re exposing themselves—or you—to. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, or even more severe infections like HIV/AIDS, are often passed from person to person in relationships with unfaithful partners.

By staying with a repeat offender, you’re risking your health every time you decide to let them back into your life. This is not just about heartbreak; it’s about self-preservation.

Once it becomes a habit that’s hard to break

There’s an old saying: Once beaten, twice shy. If someone cheats on you and then does it again after you’ve already forgiven them, it’s a glaring red flag. It says they are not willing to change, regardless of the hurt they’ve caused. Let’s face it—if someone can lie, deceive, and break your trust once, the second time only becomes easier for them.

In marriage, a pattern of infidelity can be devastating. With each betrayal, they’ll probably tell you they’ll stop, that they’ve learned their lesson. But in most cases, it’s just an endless cycle of hurt.

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Jesus Himself stated that divorce on the grounds of adultery (or cheating) is justified

If you’re someone who values the teachings of the Bible, there’s a very clear stance on adultery. In Matthew 5:32, it’s said: “But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

Essentially, Jesus Himself stated that divorce on the grounds of adultery is justified. God’s stance on faithfulness within a relationship is strict and unyielding. If God, who preaches forgiveness, allows divorce on these grounds, who are we to pretend that repeated infidelity can or should be overlooked?

Now you must respect yourself enough to move on

Forgiving a cheating partner the first time might be an act of grace. But allowing someone to keep hurting you repeatedly? That’s something entirely different. When you continue to accept infidelity, you may be silently saying that you don’t deserve loyalty and respect, which is far from true.

Sometimes, the best act of self-love is walking away and saying “enough is enough.” Repeated forgiveness for the same offense can lead to a loss of self-respect, and no relationship should cost you that.

Then begin to set a standard for your own worth

At the end of the day, a relationship should be a place of safety, trust, and mutual respect. If you forgive a partner who cheats repeatedly, it might send a message that you’re willing to tolerate mistreatment. The standard you set will dictate how others treat you, and, more importantly, how you see yourself. Loving yourself enough to demand loyalty is not only healthy but necessary.

In conclusion, forgiving a cheating partner once is compassionate; forgiving them twice might be a mistake. Cheating is not only a breach of emotional trust but also a risk to your health and well-being. Don’t let love blind you to the reality that you deserve faithfulness and respect. Choose yourself, your peace, and your health—because you’re worth it.