The Four Seasons on Netflix has caught my heart for one reason- it is a marriage playbook every couple should check out. I was quite pessimistic about how healthy and beneficial the movie would be from the start, but indeed it was frank and pure in an unexplainable way.
No stone was left unturned in the movie. Each couple, whether they appeared perfect or problematic at the start, had their flaws thrashed before the end. With so much emphasis on the power of communication, it felt like the golden solution to every couple’s problem in the movie. It emphasized the power of communication but also undermined it as only efficient if both parties are willing to make it work.
Oops, you might have to stop right here! You have to watch The Four Seasons if you want to be able to move with the flow.
My favourite couple in the movie is Jack and Kate, not because they appear to be the ones with fewer problems, but the level of committed communication they devote to their relationship. Even when they are quarreling, they are still communicating their feelings. They do not withdraw from each other- they are constantly burdening each other with their problems. This is one reason their relationship thrived more than the rest, weathering the storm that came their way.
Jack saw Kate as his best friend, keeping no secret from her. He was prompt in telling Kate about Nick’s plan to get divorced from Anne. Charlie didn’t trust his husband, Claude, to handle that information. Jack and Kate have reached this threshold of trust in each other that they see no reason to hide things from each other. Jack went to tell Kate straight up when he kissed Anne. His wife had to hear it from him first.
Anne thinking she could mend she broken relationship with Nick with a surprise vow renewal was ridiculous, but it also exposed the pain of having someone fall out of love with you. It was as if the universe did not want them together, as the kiln house exploded just as Nick was about to say his vows.
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What happens when a long-term marriage gets severed?
Sometimes, I think it is better to break off a five-year marriage than one of twenty-five years. Why? Both parties must have endured a lot and sacrificed a bunch to wrap it up at that stage. I think instead of breaking it off and throwing one of the parties into lifelong regret, they should look for ways to stay put with each other. This only works if the problem isn’t anything related to domestic violence.
Nick starting over with a young lady after twenty-five years of marriage to Anne is somewhat unfathomable. But he chose it for his happiness, but he had forever trusted Anne into an unregrettable sorrow of staying put in a commitment she thought was life-long. I am not a fan of divorce but it practically unfair to think of one to think of divorce after twenty-five years of marriage. What are you putting up with that you can no longer put up with?
Marriage’s continuity boils down to communication. If your partner engages in behaviors you do not like, always do well to communicate that to them. You cannot just keep mute and expect them to change their ways. Also, there is, on another hand, tolerance. You need a high level of tolerance to sustain marriage of a long-term.
If you feel the ick in your marriage at an early age, try to thrash the issue out at an early stage. As soon as you know you cannot put up with it, seek to dissolve it if you are a fan of divorce. The worst option is to stay put, knowing one day, you will break out in divorce. I am sorry, there is nothing you can do about being a bad partner for life, as a reputation in your ex-partner’s head.
When does affection for your partner become too annoying?
In the movie, Charlie swoons over Charlie and cares so much about his husband’s health. His husband, on the other hand, finds it annoying and not cute for a moment. It caused a lot of constraint in their relationship, and one can just think, Claude just cares.
Your partner is mature enough to know what is right for them, and you have to trust their decisions. It is right to smother your partner, but you have to make sure you are not bugging them by treating them like a child. You do not want to appear too possessive and obsessive. Trust them to be able to take care of themselves. Make sure your stance of care does not appear too domineering and not too overwhelming.
It all boils down to knowing who your partner is and what they want and need. Over the years, I have discovered that there is no manual to make it work. You just have to follow the flow, ride the waves, and hope you are doing the right thing. Always ensure that communication and commitment in constant in your relationship. With these, you can overcome any storm.
If you are interested in watching a movie that is frank about marriage, then you should watch The Four Seasons.
