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Coin d’amour: Love marriage versus matchmade marriage

While it might be a cruise that some Gen Zs are exploring matchmade marriage because they are supposedly single, matchmade marriage is the bedrock of some beautiful unions out there. Sometimes, the possibility of two eventual lovers meeting might be orchestrated by a third party.

Not everyone will meet the love of their life on their own, they will have to be introduced or imposed on each other. In this century, no one can impose a partner on another person, but arranged marriages in this sense mean linking people up deliberately with the aim of them getting married.

Love marriages in this sense do not mean that matchmade marriages are not based on love, but they mean that the lovers meet according to the dictates of fate. Love marriages are kind of poetic in the sense that it is orchestrated by life itself-no human strings attached.

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Should matchmade marriages be an option?

Matchmaking might be a good and less stressful option because the matchmaking broker might help you with sifting through a handful of incompatible factors that you and your partner might have. The broker helps with the hustle of finding someone, but you have the hurdle of finding out whether you guys are made for each other. 

Matchmade marriages often result in partners with similar beliefs, family backgrounds, education, and financial status. When friends, parents, or relatives can help select a spouse, they typically choose someone of comparable or equal standing. In contrast, when we rely on romantic connections alone, unforeseen factors may emerge over time and impact long-term compatibility.

For matchmaking in this sense, I advise you to have a physical middleman brokering the relationship to avoid being catfished using an online dating app. 

A matchmade or arranged marriage does not take away the beauty of love as long as you agree to the union. It is almost the same as applying for a job, you can either be referred or see the job poster directly. 

Love marriages will only be better than matchmade or arranged marriages if partners make it work.

Do you know that the divorce rate of arranged marriages is about 4%

The fact that your marriage was not matchmade or arranged does not mean it is any better than matchmade marriages. You have to put in the work to make sure it works. There is this distinct freedom that comes from love marriages because you owe nobody an explanation of how your relationship goes. For matchmade marriages, your union might be under scrutiny by the people who brought you folks together.

A study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that love marriages tend to have higher initial satisfaction but may face more challenges later due to unrealistic expectations (Source). While I am not a love practitioner, I believe the success of a marriage is dependent on the foundation, which is not only based on love alone but willingness and commitment of both parties. Any way the couples meet is not determined by the approach of their meeting.

Even the first man and woman matched by God failed in their mandate, so whether arranged, matchmade or love marriages, it is the responsibility of both parties to make it work.

Eyitayo Ajayi
Eyitayo Ajayi
Eyitayo Jemimah Ajayi is a fashion and entertainment content writer who likes to review outfits and bring to reading sustainable fashion styles. She dabbles into movie and song reviews and sometimes she can be an unapologetic women's rights activist.

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